RIP My Delphinium

“Ugh my delphinium is dying'“

“Delphiniums don’t just die Sophie, what have you done to it? Or haven’t you been looking after it?”

I just had a look around the garden because I have some friends coming over for dinner tomorrow. I sent an e-mail round titled (in a hideously ironic/non ironic way) ‘Lovely London Literary Dinner’ (which my enemies can choke on tbh). I have been showing off vague corners of the garden on instagram but like almost everything in my life the rest of it is a mess. The seedlings have mainly died, the delphinium as mentioned looks awful, there’s unknown faeces on my turnips and there’s a squirrel that keeps digging up the basil and is in no way frightened of me. The roses still look fantastic, thank god I went back and got it.

A few years ago I had a habit of letting one of my houseplants die whenever an idiot boy broke up with me. I remember sitting in my bed staring at an aloe vera I’d put on a top shelf, watching it slowly fade and eventually rot. In some ways this was a slight pleasure, in most ways it’s depressing and pretentious to look back upon, what a waste of plants! I could use that aloe vera now on my sunburnt skin, maybe I’ll reinvest. This feels quite similar, the garden’s been put on the back bench.

I have been doing quite a lot of work on my health, revisiting things that need ironing over and it has felt like a full time job. Trying not to just sleep in the day, eat something so I don’t lose weight and actually working has kept my quite busy and the garden has been left to it’s own devices. But now I have finished with my PTSD workshops (ha ha) I’ll have one more day to concentrate on the garden instead of being completely exhausted. Anyway I’ve cut all my hair off and I’m ready to move on.